9:45 p.m. - 01-23-2007
Loneliness which is not deserved
Things are going better my friends. When I last left you, I was in stress mode from my online class. But it has settled down a bit in spite of having a 2-4 page descriptive essay that is due Monday. But I already have the rough draft, just have to tweak it a bit, so all is cool again.
Today was a typical winter day in Pediatrics. Shortly after I got there we filled up. I laughed and said at least the GOOD NEWS about being full is that we can't take any more admissions. But as the day progressed we dismissed 5 of them. And we only got 1 admission so that's not bad! I left with only 6 patients, but 4 of them were little ones with RSV. Yep, that means, gowns, gloves and a mask every time you walk into the fricken room! And if you are in there for any amount of time, you get SWEATY! Those gowns are thin plastic. Imagine wearing a plastic garbage bag from head to toe. You'd sweat after just a bit wouldn't you? It's no fun but I do NOT want to bring RSV home or any other little bugs for that matter so I must obey the rules.
What saddens me horribly are these babies who are sick and in there and their parents are NEVER around. Who does that? I'm not a babysitter folks. I am there to take care of your child in the capacity that I am trained. I am not there to rock them to sleep, cuddle them when they are feeling lonely because YOU aren't there and do all the feedings, diaper changes and spit ups. Now don't get me wrong, I do enjoy doing all of those things and it's wonderful to do them when I have to..but I do have other patients and admissions and things I have to get done before I can leave for the day. I don't think it's too much to ask for a parent to spend more than 5 minutes with their kid during the day before they run wild in the streets because I'm your built-in babysitter. I have no concept of what that is like. If my daughter were hospitalized, I would be there 24/7. Even if I went home and showered, I'd make sure somebody was with her. And she's 12. Not 12 months. I just don't get it and I guess I never will. Maybe that's another reason why I don't want to be a Pediatric Nurse. It's too heartbreaking. But being a PCA there is great. These sick little ones get better. And smile and laugh and hold your hand and grab your stethoscope and giggle. I truly enjoy that. But come on, your kid is sick and needs YOU, not me. They long for you and your comfort. This is not a free ticket for you to go and party and do whatever else it is you do. And YES parents come back reeking of alcohol and god-knows-what-else. It's crazy. This new job experience has been such an eye-opener. And it's those kids I just want to pack up and take home with me and give them a better life. But I can't, so I won't.
And that's my bitching and moaning for the day. I have 2 days off now and I'm very much looking forward to it.
I have a date with my accountant tomorrow so he can tell me how much Uncle Sam wants to give me back this year. I can't wait to find it out. I made more than I did last year so I have a feeling it won't be as much. But next year boy, I'm gonna make out like a bandit! At least this shit paying job will be worth it next year at this time!!!
Time for bed and for sweet sleep. Sleep that doesn't end with my alarm blaring at 5:00 A.M. and my body fighting for more sleep.
